That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
