I love black thongs
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
