I love black thongs
I need to stop coming to work sober
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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