Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
