The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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