I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
