I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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