Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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