hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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