You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
my liver is dry heaving
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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