I heard we made out
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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