my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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