Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party

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(309): View more from Illinois

So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers

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(719): View more from Colorado

Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room

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(989): View more from Michigan

I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"

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