I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
