I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
