you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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