Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
