That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My feet surprised me
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
