How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
