Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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