2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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