Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
