I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
