just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Dick very happy bro
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
