If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
That accounts for only three of the penises
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
