If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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