Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
