YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
