A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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