fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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