At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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