you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
