I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Randomize
