Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
