somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
