I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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