Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
