Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
