worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
