Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
