Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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