so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
