Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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