walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
