he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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