is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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