Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
