OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
