He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Watching her eat just hurts me
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
