$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
