What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
